Guardian Angle

               He hated it. He had to watch her from afar every day. The women he loved and had loved for years had to walk through life every day, alone all because of that drunk driver that hit him on his walk home. When he woke up minutes later in a new city and a new home with a shining figure before him, he almost had a heart attack. That would have been impossible though, he learned, since it turns out he was dead. The figure was very kind though and very straightforward. In the house, he appeared in lived the woman he should have ended up with.
        
           “You were made for her, no one else,” the figure whispered with a sad look. At that moment, the most beautiful girl he had ever seen walked in. She looked to be around fourteen, two years younger than him. Her hair was long, landing at her small bust and she had the prettiest eyes he had ever seen. Everything about her made his heart soar and then just as he realized that, it fell. His heart began to break as he realized she would never meet him and he, he would never be able to touch her. To hold her, kiss her, love her.

            “Yes, it is hard I know.” The figure said. “but she needs you. If you will, we ask you to be her guardian angel. Watch over her, protect her, and support her. She will need you for the hard times ahead. Will you be there for her?” the answer was simple for him.

            “Yes of course,” his declaration came as a small whisper. Even if she could never know him, he was determined to help her feel his love. The figure left not long after telling him that he would be back if needed. Alone with the love of his life, he began his new life. He learned all about her, her likes, dislikes, and so on. He tried to share as much as he could about himself with her. As time went on, it got harder for him. At times, he felt like a stalker. He did his best to always give her privacy and respect her. He never joined her in any place but her bedroom after she was dressed, house, and school.

            Finally, he had to step in. On her first date, she was left alone in front of the mirror lost and confused. Slowly he came up beside her, gently putting a hand on her shoulder. She didn’t really seem to notice but he could see as her shoulders drop and the tension leaves her body. With a gentle hand, he pulled back her hair right at the top of her head. He knew from the past that it wouldn’t affect the physical world. Yet, it seemed to make an impression on her as her mouth made a tilted line. She slowly drew her hand to wear his laid and mimicked his motion. It was like heaven as she brushed across his skin and made a small smile.

             “This doesn’t look too bad does it?” she asked aloud to no one but it felt directed at him. From then on, they held silent one-sided conversations. She would talk aloud to herself as if she was talking with him and he would listen, longing to talk back. That is when he truly fell in love with her.

                It was harder for him as she grew up. Watching as all her friends found the men and women in their lives and began their own journeys. He had to hold back his jealousy when she went out with other men. Yet despite all his pain, he prayed that she would find someone. She deserved happiness. Finally, his prayers came true.

                “The man lost his soul mate as well,” the figure explained to him as they watched her hit it off with the new stranger before her. They met at the store and she hadn’t stopped talking about him since.

                “The big man says it’s time. They will be happy together and live a good life. Now you have a choice to make.” The figure turned to him. “We have talked with his guardian and she has made her decision. Once they are married, she will leave and head upstairs. You can join her if you wish or you can stay here and watch over her. Don’t rush this. You have a long time to come to your decision.” The figure left again, leaving the man at a crossroad.

                  For three years he stayed, watching the romance bloom and seeing his love finally fall in love for the first time. It hurt, there was no denying that, but he did his best to put aside the pain and watch over her. When the time finally came and she said yes to the rest of her life, he knew what he would do. On her wedding, he stood beside her as she twirled. Everyone else was gone and she stood before the mirror one last time. With a gentle sad smile, he approached her. Pulling her hair back like so many years ago, he felt her for one last time. To his surprise, she raised her hand to his, a gentle smile on her lips.

                  “Thank you,” she whispered and she squeezed what she couldn’t feel. “You have always been there for me. I know it must have been hard for you but thank you.” He felt his eyes begin to water as she looked into the mirror. Their eyes seemed to connect even though he knew she couldn’t see him. “I wish we could have met but I know it’s time for you to go. Please take care of yourself. I love you, my angel.” With that, she let him go and turned, leaving the room. He watched her leave, picturing for just a moment a different life in a different time. A time, when he would be the one waiting down the aisle to hold her for the rest of his life. A time, that had been taken from him because of one man’s decision.  

                “It’s time to go,” a figure’s gentle voice said behind him. He turned to the figure surprised to see a woman beside him. She gave him a gentle smile and that’s when he knew. She was the other guardian. Their time here was done. He didn’t know what compelled him to do so, but gently he grabbed her hand in his. She sent him a small sad smile, and then they both turned and followed the figure into the light ahead.

Old pictures

We are together just an arms reach away. His hand outstretched a spider ring showing. A plastic sword shoved into his belt loop, a bright pink and orange. I stand beside him. A gold and white dress dawned over a blue shirt. My pink heart glasses covering my eyes and a flower purse caught in my mouth.  We stop in the middle of our game to pose to pose for the world.

We stand now miles apart but then come close in a hug. His hand longer dawns a spider ring but still points out, a diploma in his hand. It will replace the sword on his belt. In just a matter of months, a gown will take the place of my white and gold dress. Then far away we will go down a similar path that will lead us different ways. But I hope that we will still stop in the middle of our game to pose for the world.

All these years

Heading home down the snowy path, the small village laid below. He stopped for a moment and his companion stopped too. The light of a candle in a small window beckoned him in but he was scared. Would they remember him after all these years? Would she be there?

Waiting for him to come home. 

Put That Down

1/13/2012

“Put that down.” Three simple words I have heard all my life. The first time I held a knife. “Rylee put that down. You'll hurt yourself.”

The first time I held a gun.

“Rylee I swear if you don’t put that down. You're in big trouble.”

When I first saw their power and held the blood red colors in my small hands.

“Little lady put that down. You don’t want to mess with them.”

It’s funny really, each time they say that I just want to do the opposite. That’s why when the principal left and the school cleared, I didn’t take the long ten-minute walk home.

Instead, I turned down the hall following the path I knew lead to forbidden territory. I turned and twisted past places that no sane person would go and no girl would even approach. I ignored the whispers and intimidating looks as I pass through a place no one has ever willingly walked.

The cloth in my hand brings gasps from the onlookers. As I walk past, they sit and stare. I can tell I'm going up the ranks as I get farther in. Each look stays longer and each hand twitches more to intervene.

“Little girl I suggest you put that down and turn around,” I smirk. With those four words and a sickening crack of a punch, my world is changed. I feel no remorse as he lies on the ground and I am tackled down by his “family”. They should have known I don’t like those words. Not. One. Bit.

Their leader is impressed. He’s not angry and once he shooed out the flies swarming me I received a twisted smile and pat on the head.

“Promise me not to put that down.” A chilling laugh fills the room as I take in his joke. I can tell he knows what I hate and that’s when I know I’ll like it here.

The red now adorns my head, holding back the jagged cut of my bright blond hair. The stares around me increase, bringing me peace, their whispers are my fuel. Respect is crucial and so I'm brought to his side to learn. He never tells me to put anything down. So, when I hold the butterfly knife, I relish in its touch. I watch the blood drip down my hand after a gasp and gurgle. It’s too messy, I decided I don’t like it as much. When I grasp a revolver, I feel the power flow through me.  People fall to me like flies and I know this is for me. Now no one tells me to stop. Not after I shoot two of them down and they find the body of my mother hanging from the roof.

Eventually, I rise through the ranks and in his heart. Those words change for me, twist, and turn until they become three loving ones. He whispers them in my ear every time a body falls. He snakes them across my skin whenever someone even tries to utter the words I despise.  He makes me scream them out when I am beneath him. He weaves them into my DNA as he puts me through excruciating exercise after excruciating exercise till I'm tough as a rock.

Eventually, the world around me changes like those words. It expands and grows. With graduation comes the world. It’s his gift to me. He's three years ahead and has already concord it all. Paris becomes my playground and China my throne.

I enjoy it there where the people know how to respect authority and understand honor.  They serve me gladly and I gather my own loyal followers. He enjoys it as well, he lets me have it and all its people. He is clear when he says he likes watching me up there, commanding the flies to do my bidding. I gather more power as I go.

It’s funny they say actions speak louder than words but for me, that has never been true until HE began to change. With his change, actions showed me that three words can make four when a gentle hand and soft voice hold you down. He showed it with every long night and late flight.

Really, he should have known they constrained me and I felt my world shrinking. He did give me the world after all just so I would never have to hear those words. He should have known. They were like strings tide to keep me down and I am not a puppet.

“Baby please I love you.” Wrong. A scream and shattered knee. His words plead but his eyes tell me his hate. “What's wrong baby? What happened?” nope. Two shots and his life is hanging by a thread.  He's running out of time now and even he knows what's coming. “Please put that down.” Wrong answer.

The flies will descend upon the body later and I’ll make sure they know to devour it. The empire was mine before the first shot and so the world is my playground. Now I should never hear those words again now I can be free.